


Perspective

by MiscellanyBegone



Category: SuchArt: Genius Artist Simulator (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, jesse mentioned there wasn't a fanfic of her and dan yet and I took that as a dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:41:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27098278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiscellanyBegone/pseuds/MiscellanyBegone
Summary: "I'm going to draw Robothatcher being decomissioned.""I thought we were supposed to be doing Bob Ross today!"It is 2130. As the threat of a robot revolt is looming and the alien race of the Crabuxes wants the planet's salt water, Jesse and Daniel look for a way off of Earth.(Jesse and Dan in the world of SuchArt.)
Relationships: Daniel Condren/Jesse McNamara
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Perspective

"Jesse, you've got your results of your DNA test of professional compatibility by now, right?"

"I've got it somewhere. Let me- alright, I'll send it over."

Daniel opened the file and skimmed it. High comedic skills, slightly below average athletic prowess... nothing particularly interesting or helpful. Then he spotted it.

"It says you have great artistic talent."

"It says what?" There was a pause as Jesse pulled up the file and skimmed through it again. "Well fuck me, I'm legally blind."

"You could get a studio on the ISC with that. They've been looking for artists."

"That's not for me, lovey. I've never painted in me life."

"My artistic talent was pretty high too. This might be our only chance to get off the planet together.."

"We're going to have to actually paint, you know. We can't just get there and fuck about."

"If it means not living in the middle of a three way war, I'll learn to be Picasso."

"You know what, you're right. I'm sure we'll be creative enough to make this work."

* * *

"This is great."

"Are you loaded in to your studio?"

"Oh, I'm already painting."

"How are you already painting?"

"Do you want to see?"

"Sure, I'll switch over now." Daniel switched over to Jesse's viewstream.

"I've wrote 'Fuck Robothatcher.'"

"I've wrote 'Crabux sux'".

"I'm going to draw Robothatcher being decomissioned."

"I thought we were supposed to be doing Bob Ross today!"

"And I am!"

"It's a good thing we've encrypted our viewstreams, or at least one of us would be getting taken away for treason."

"We're committing treason together, and I love that for us."

* * *

"I'm going to get kicked off the space station and get shot by a robot."

"I'll be right behind you, getting laser-beamed by an alien."

"I don't think blending colors is actually possible."

"There might be a reason that there haven't been any good human artists in a hundred years- robots are the only ones who are actually able to blend colors."

"Are you saying that Bob Ross was a robot? Because you know what, you're right and that would explain a lot."

* * *

"You know what? I'm really enjoying this. I'm glad we came here."

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. I'm starting to think that there was a mixup with my genome results."

"Daniel, you just need to believe in yourself and stop relying on the gun to fix all your problems."

* * *

"I never thought I'd say this, but thank god for Tories."

Daniel laughed as Jesse continued, "No, seriously. Rich people have no fucking taste, and I love that for them."

"Did you just sell one of your paintings?"

"Even better. You just sold one of yours."

"Seriously? Let me see that... oh my god, she seriously paid thousands of dollars for that? Everyone said it looked like a lasagna!"

"It looked more like a forest fire to me. Maybe she thought it was a political statement?"

"I'm not sure I meant to be making a statement. But hey, if it means I'm not getting shipped back to Earth she can interpret it however she wants."

"And here we were, worrying about artistic talent. It turns out we're naturals."

* * *

"It's got to be some form of tax evasion."

"Raniel Taniel, are you still on about that?"

"Another one of my paintings sold."

"Daniel, maybe the people just genuinely like your art."

"That was the painting that I just burned. I didn't even use paint, I just burned the canvas."

"And maybe they liked that! It was very innovative."

"It wasn't, though!"

"Well, we already knew that rich people have no taste, so this shouldn't be a surprise to you."

* * *

"I'm going to die."

"Daniel, you're not going to die."

"The Crabux ambassador invited me onto their ship."

"Well, it was nice knowing you."

"You're invited too, as my plus one."

"Now Daniel, I don't know much about this kind of thing, but usually you don't get an invitation with a plus one to your own murder."

"What else could they want from us?"

"Well, Daniel, maybe they're a big fan of your art."

"Maybe they need someone to ritually murder and I fit the bill?"

* * *

"You're an important cultural ambassador!"

"The Crabuxes have no fucking taste and no one wants to tell them that."

"Hey, they're just wired different. If they think that your art is a work of unprecedented genius then we can't argue with them."

"Jesse, they want to commission a series of paintings of Crabuxes from me. I can't paint a Crabux."

"I will not be hearing any of this negative self-talk from you. You're going to paint a series of paintings of Crabuxes, and they're going to love them because Crabuxes have the weirdest fucking taste in art and they love everything you do."

"I just don't understand why this is happening to me."

"You're the one who wanted to leave Earth and become an artist in the first place! This is all according to plan."

"I know, but I thought I'd be better at it."

"Da Vinci thought that he was a failure, didn't he? Sometimes you can't even recognize your own greatness."

"But my paintings are actually bad. You can see it, don't lie to me."

"Well, sure, they're bad by human standards. But they're good by Crabux standards, and that means you're an incredibly important figure who'll help improve cultural relations, and thus who isn't going to be sent back to Earth to die in a war. That's a success by any measure, innit?"

"That's a good point, actually."

"No, if you die, it'll be because you got caught in the middle of negotiations between two species who have only barely decided not to kill each other."

"That doesn't make me feel better!"


End file.
